SPANX

Pairings:

SPANX for Human decency
SPANX for Rehab
SPANX for Child prison
SPANX for Germans
SPANX for North Korea
SPANX for Your deathbed
SPANX for Fake news
SPANX for Saying fuck it and moving to the woods for the rest of your life
SPANX for The elderly
SPANX for Nasal irrigation
SPANX for Things mom won’t do for you anymore
SPANX for People who peaked in high school
SPANX for Just one extremely rich man
SPANX for Wizards
SPANX for Glory holes
SPANX for Panic rooms
SPANX for Talking to your kids about sex
SPANX for Private prisons
SPANX for Hot Pockets
SPANX for Refugees
SPANX for Resting bitch face
SPANX for Assholes
SPANX for Irresponsible chimpanzee ownership
Hi, I’d like to add you to my professional network on SPANX.
SPANX for Arranged marriages
SPANX for The vaginal region
SPANX for Republicans
SPANX for Taekwondo lessons
SPANX for No fap November
Confederate SPANX
SPANX for Human-size doll companions
SPANX for Gamers
SPANX for The rapture
SPANX for Ripping all the non-head hair out of your body
SPANX for Your secret second family
SPANX for Kids
SPANX for Vajazzling
SPANX for Earth-2
SPANX for Human organs
SPANX for Platonic cuddling
SPANX for Actually moving to Canada this time
SPANX for Seizing the means of production
SPANX for Cry holes
SPANX: The Adventure Theme Park
SPANX for Schadenfreude
SPANX for VR porn
Selling SPANX to hipsters at a 300% price increase
SPANX for The homeless
SPANX for Shockingly accurate latex reproductions of your genitals
SPANX for Bernie bros
SPANX for Parkour
SPANX for Safe spaces
SPANX for Suppressing your emotions
SPANX Missed Connections
SPANX for Sex dungeons
SPANX for Immortality
SPANX for Literally no one
SPANX for Goblins
SPANX for Seasteading
Artisanal SPANX
SPANX for Ball pits
SPANX for Furries
SPANX for Trees
SPANX for Conversion therapy
SPANX for Peak oil
SPANX for The tears of your enemies
SPANX for Vegans
SPANX for White people
SPANX for Trampolines when you need them
SPANX for American audiences
SPANX for Losers
SPANX for Overly specific fetishes
SPANX for The untapped market potential of the ancient, forgotten race at the center of the Earth
SPANX for That last little bit of pee
SPANX live cams
SPANX for Pretending to be busy
SPANX for The Chinese market
SPANX for Hippie types
SPANX for Smell dating
SPANX for Panic attacks
Steampunk SPANX
SPANX for Sugar daddies
SPANX for Hicks
SPANX for Calling your parents
SPANX for Never Nudes
SPANX for Pegging
SPANX in space
SPANX for Mindfulness
SPANX for Human shields
SPANX for Your doomsday bunker
SPANX for Bubblewrap
SPANX for Male fetuses
SPANX for Freegans
SPANX for Things you can have sex with
SPANX for Expressing your dog’s anal glands
SPANX for Religiously mandated genital mutilation
SPANX for Corpses
SPANX for Clowns
SPANX for Disrupting yourself
SPANX for Naughty children
SPANX for Golden showers
SPANX for Neanderthals
SPANX for Male tears
SPANX for Slam poetry
SPANX for Conceptually interesting, but ultimately not very enjoyable, sex stuff
SPANX for Social justice warriors
SPANX for Scary noises
SPANX for Ugly-crying
SPANX for Monogamy
SPANX for Farmers
SPANX for Renaissance faires
SPANX for Barnyard animals
SPANX for Assisted suicide
SPANX for Fuckboys
SPANX for A swift and painless death
SPANX for Puppy mills
Black SPANX
SPANX for Manscaping
SPANX for Checking your privilege
SPANX for The singularity
SPANX for Cocaine
SPANX for Vaping
SPANX for Jedis
SPANX for Home invasions
A SPANX Original Series
SPANX for Opioids
SPANX for Nonsexual glory holes
SPANX for Burning Man
SPANX for Humanities majors
SPANX for Time travel
SPANX for Cucks
SPANX for Slowly and methodically poisoning someone
SPANX for Racist news
SPANX for White cisgender heterosexual men
SPANX for ASMR
SPANX for Human hair
SPANX for Drunk people
SPANX for Being cryogenically frozen until 2020
SPANX for Libertarians
SPANX for Fecal transplants
A religion centered entirely around SPANX
SPANX for Human-eagle hybrids
SPANX for Leftovers
SPANX for Attentive robot lovers
SPANX for Adderall
SPANX for Kegels
SPANX for Billionaires
SPANX for Single-digit millionaires
SPANX for The proudly asexual
SPANX for Mouth breathers
SPANX for Internet outrage
Literally just SPANX
SPANX for Breakup sex
SPANX for The Amish
SPANX for Dialing 911
SPANX for Pooping in public
SPANX for Zombies
SPANX for White privilege
SPANX for Egg salad
SPANX for Dying peacefully of old age, surrounded by loved ones
SPANX for Anal bleaching
SPANX for Online harassment
SPANX for Angry mobs
SPANX for Merkins
SPANX for Sentient corn
SPANX for Vampires
Make SPANX Great Again
SPANX for The zombie apocalypse
SPANX for Virgins
SPANX for Foreskin
SPANX for Fighting crime
SPANX for The US–Mexico border
SPANX for Miniature donkeys
SPANX for Jews
SPANX for Farts
SPANX for Unnecessarily reminding people about 9/11
SPANX for Butt stuff
SPANX and chill
SPANX for Ethical cannibalism
SPANX for Drugs that could potentially lead to you biting someone’s face off
SPANX for Coffins
SPANX for The uncontacted tribes of the Amazon
SPANX for Chemtrails
SPANX but suuuuper gay
SPANX for Millennials
SPANX for Registered sex offenders
SPANX for Sexting
SPANX for Lighthouse keepers
Shitty SPANX
SPANX for The real timeline where Donald Trump isn’t president
SPANX but woke
SPANX for Drug mules
SPANX for Elves
SPANX for The polyamorous community
SPANX for Imposter syndrome
SPANX for Tweens
SPANX for Canadians
SPANX for Therapists
SPANX for Sex parties
SPANX for Morning breath
SPANX for Liberal guilt
SPANX for Potable water
SPANX for ISIS recruiting
SPANX for Failing relationships
SPANX for Fight clubs
SPANX for Germophobes
SPANX for Designer babies
SPANX for The patriarchy
SPANX for Megayachts
SPANX for Empowering nudes
SPANX for Breastfeeding
SPANX for Cats
SPANX for Human Growth Hormone
SPANX for The gulag
SPANX for Exotic pets
SPANX for Edibles
SPANX for Centaurs
SPANX for Mens rights advocates
SPANX for Profound spiritual emptiness
SPANX for Amber alerts
SPANX for Ethically non-monogamous relationships
SPANX for The profoundly lazy
SPANX for Human kindness
SPANX for Your junk
SPANX for Beards
SPANX for Mimes
SPANX for The imminent nuclear apocalypse
SPANX for Meditation
SPANX for The cripplingly awkward
SPANX for Magic beans
SPANX for Analingus
SPANX for Colonics
SPANX for Talking about your feelings
SPANX for The brave men and women of our military
SPANX for Florida
SPANX for Nightmare fuel
SPANX for The Sabbath
SPANX but only for white people in New York and San Francisco
SPANX for Men
SPANX for Living proudly as a goat
SPANX for Morons
Mommy SPANX
SPANX for Portland
SPANX for Ineffective folk remedies
SPANX for Your parents
SPANX but less evil
SPANX for Jugglers
SPANX for Lonely, confused men
SPANX for Sex robots with in-app purchases
SPANX for Coming out
SPANX for Mushrooms
SPANX for Deciding whether to hug or shake hands
SPANX for Hugs
SPANX for Working yourself to death
SPANX for Pre-masticating your food
SPANX for Sentient AI
SPANX for Sperm
SPANX for Catcalling
SPANX for Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks
SPANX for Hipsters
SPANX for Mars Colony 2
SPANX for Goths
SPANX for Waterboarding
SPANX for The clitoris
SPANX for Hiring an old timey chimneysweep
SPANX for Dogs
SPANX for Manic pixie dream girls
SPANX for Singles in the Dallas–Fort Worth area
SPANX for Your skin
SPANX for Empathy
SPANX for Sleep eating
SPANX for The human condition
SPANX for Werewolves
SPANX for Consent
SPANX for Gentrification
SPANX for Doing a murder
SPANX for Internet comments
SPANX for Feminists
SPANX for Sleep paralysis
SPANX for Blackmail
SPANX for Autofellatio
SPANX for Doing sex right
SPANX: The Musical!
SPANX for Doomsday preppers
SPANX for Unregistered sex offenders
SPANX for Psychopaths
SPANX for Male birth control
SPANX for Spooning
SPANX for Naps
SPANX for Your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
SPANX for Piggyback rides
SPANX for Killer AI
SPANX but with drones
SPANX for Fish
SPANX for Faking your death
SPANX for Plan B
SPANX for Women
SPANX for Fugue states
SPANX for Reiki
SPANX for Never having to talk to anyone ever again
SPANX for Getting swole
SPANX for 3D printed sex toys
SPANX for The Illuminati
SPANX for Mass deportation
SPANX for Apologies
SPANX for Ghosts
SPANX for Children’s blood
SPANX for Pizza
SPANX for The unemployable
SPANX for Fad diets
SPANX for Teens
SPANX for Gender neutral bathrooms
SPANX for Morning wood
SPANX for Instant, but disastrously unsafe, teleportation
SPANX for Juggalos
SPANX for Baking your enemies into a pie
SPANX for Wookiees
SPANX for Threesome logistics
SPANX for Sweetly disabled goats
SPANX for Rumspringa
SPANX for Human cloning
SPANX for Making America Great Again
SPANX for Labiaplasty
SPANX for Human babies
SPANX for The miracle of childbirth
SPANX for Imaginary friends
SPANX for Pet cemeteries
SPANX for Your butthole
SPANX for Non college educated whites
SPANX for Introverts
SPANX for Vaccinations
SPANX for Mansplaining
SPANX for Perpetual motion machines
SPANX for Drum circles
SPANX for Persistent vegetative states
SPANX for Human trafficking
SPANX for Africa
SPANX for Cat ladies
SPANX for The caliphate
SPANX for Human centipedes
SPANX for The lizard people who live secretly among us
SPANX for Peep holes
SPANX for Narcissists
SPANX for Daddy
SPANX for Going back in time to kill Hitler
SPANX for Children’s teeth
SPANX for Ayahuasca ceremonies
SPANX for Wiping your bottom
SPANX for Bumps
SPANX for The alt-right